"Days Like Today"

I hate days like today. My heart is so heavy and for the life of me I can’t know why. That only tells me that it’s a culmination of many little things that are ganging up against me. At least, that’s what it feels like. It just fucking sucks! All I want to do is curl up somewhere in a hidden place and stay there until the storm passes. And it usually does, but that doesn’t lessen the heartache I feel.

"Fortune Telling?"

I think we can all tell our own futures, or at the least act it out within our minds. I don’t mean that every detail of the future can be told. I’m not that naïve. Sometimes life is like going through a maze and you can anticipate which way to turn just with what little maze you can see in front of you, and depending how large or small the radius of any curves, is how far ahead you can see. Sometimes I wonder if I am talking about telling the future or planning it. Don’t you just love life?

"It’s Amazing How Quickly...."

Just a couple of days ago it was like a nice early spring day with abundant sunshine. Today, totally not! Overcast skies, a light northerly breeze, and four inches of snow on the ground with a quarter inch of sleet/ice beneath that. Ya gotta love Texas weather! But it is early January, so, it’s to be expected. All the mundane talk of weather does have relevance here so let’s get to the main course, shall we?

It’s amazing how quickly things can change. It only takes less than a second for things to change dramatically, for your life as well. The direction of that change surely defines the nature, good or bad? I can’t say that the changes I have been through are any worse than anyone else’s because I have seen some very sad moments for others that I don’t even want to ‘totally understand’. May God give them peace.

I have had tomorrow on my mind all day today, and the day after, and the day after that. I really can’t explain how I feel except to say that I am a little (the skepticism is still hard to shake) excited. I can look at this in two ways; one, It’s what I wanted or, two, it’s what I needed. To be honest, it isn’t what I had in mind, therefore, not what I wanted. But if I have learned anything at all in life it’s that if you give what you needed a chance, you will find it’s what you wanted all along.

"Here's To New Beginnings"

It’s a bright sunny day out but still on the nipply side. That’s ok with me because I’m warm. For the last thirty months I have been battling with unemployment and an uncertain future. I spent most of that time looking for work and going to school, so it hasn’t been without an upside. I have accomplished something and that’s always a good thing.

This coming Monday I begin a new adventure, a new job! That is something I haven’t had in such a very long time and I hope and pray to God I don’t go through the last two and one half years again. I am looking forward to this. I have to admit, at first I wasn’t. I’m still a little anxious about it. But the days between my first learning that I have the job and now has been revealing. I was tempted to keep searching for other work and I did, just not with as much gusto as I am accustomed to. I have learned to listen for that still, quiet voice, to be patient in everything. I am glad I did and still am.

So, goals must be set and plans must be made to reach those goals. God! I’m not even sure where to begin. You would think that as many times that I have had to start from scratch I would know how by now. Either way, starting all over again is never easy but it is sure better than giving up. Anyone care to join me?