"Thinking"

I always wonder what goes through the mind of a child, especially when I see photos such as this one. I absolutely love this! He is watching his sister search for easter eggs and I can’t help but feel his pain because he is on the inside looking out. This is just one of those rare photos that says so much and all you want to do is pick him up and give him the biggest hug and comfort him as best you can, to help him forget his woes.

We all have been in his shoes more than once and I am sure this won’t be the last time for him. I have personally known a few people in my own lifetime that have been where this little guy is now, wanting to be a part of something that looks like so much fun and can’t. There are many who spend a lifetime wanting to have a normal life and can’t. Thankfully and hopefully, those times will be farther and fewer in between for this little fellow. Be thankful for what you have, especially if you have been blessed more than some, or anyone. It can all be gone in a split second.

"Who Invented God?".....

Sometimes I wonder about whether this question should read, “Who invented Spirituality?” So many different answers can come out of the woodwork with it being asked either way. And before you get to wondering if this is a “God basher”, have no fear. What would that serve anyway? But this all comes at this moment from a conversation I was having about Biblical things. I was asked what my thoughts on Armageddon were. I have found that as I get older, there are more questions about religion than there are answers and that just doesn’t make a lot of sense. The norm is as we get older we “cram for the final exam”. 60% of people age 65 or older report going to church at least once a week. It’s been that way for as long as I can remember. 10% are 15-24 years old and 25-44 years old are 20%. Maybe you can decipher the rest on your own. The bottom line is that the statement is true. The older we get, the closer we wish to be with God. For myself, I find the older I get, the more I learn about the history of religion and the more I understand things.

But understanding doesn’t necessarily ban confusion, hence more questions than answers as I age. I was raised in the Christian faith and Southern Baptist denomination. I was saved at the age of nine and rededicated my life to Jesus on Easter Sunday, 1978. What can I say? It’s one of those unforgettable life changing events. I was a young man with love on his mind and everything happened to get all turned around on that day. I was very acceptable to change, as I am now. I was very open to God and He has remained open to me throughout my life; the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Today, I consider myself more spiritual than religious. Even though I have learned so much about religion historically, I still can’t let go of how I felt inside in those times of need, for the lack of a better word, especially those younger years, those more formidable years. This not to mention the ghosts or spirits I have encountered in this latter part of my life. I have yet to actually see one but I have heard one and I have a very valid witness to this. This same witness has had an ‘out of body experience’. I also include déjà vu in this because I happen to think it is caused by re-incarnation, another spiritual oddity. So, I can’t totally let go of the notion that there is a spiritual realm amongst us.

Some would argue, or most rather, that God wasn’t invented but the inventor. Sometimes I wonder about that more than anything. Mankind does have an awesome and crazy imagination. For instance, remember when everyone believed when the earth was flat? Boy, were we wrong! We think we know it all then an epiphany will come along and just throw things off kilter.

I think it is all about that fear of death we all have had or still do. I have thought about death for as long as I can remember. I honestly think we all know about it from the beginning of life. It was just something that came to my mind, something I wondered about a lot. I don’t think I am the exception to the rule. I think about it more as I get older, sometimes with fear and sometimes with anticipation. At times what I thought about death, how my little mind dealt with it, was seeing it as not yet been born, the same as it was before you were born. It was just a thought. Sometimes I think it is a peaceful thing, simply put, no more living. By the way, I fear not living than I do death itself.

God invented? Maybe, maybe not. As I age, I tend to lean towards yes but there is still that little bit of mystery and intrigue that life has left me with; those times when my faith was the strongest and I had no fear of anything. I believe with all of my heart that there is something, unexplainable and greater than I am dwelling amongst us. It’s not really a place of pure hell or pure heaven. All I do know to say is that I didn’t get to where I am alone. If I invented this, I am not aware of it but I can’t fully deny it either. It’s a very personal choice based on our very own experiences. It is certainly not worth fighting and killing over, religion I mean. But that seems to be a historical fact. Maybe God wasn’t invented but religion definitely was. It’s of man. We are such arrogant creatures, aren’t we?

"The Love of A Parent"

Nothing troubles my spirit more than a parent that doesn’t seem to give a damn about their kid/s. It hurts me to the core and it sorely pisses me off. I’m not talking about the parents who have gone their separate ways, yet still find the heart to care for their children. I’m talking about those parents who completely wash their hands of a child, for any reason. It just doesn’t make any sense to me.

I was rarely with my own Father, but what time I was with him, I was his son and he was my Father. The rest of my life I depended upon my heavenly Father for guidance. I make no apologies for that either. He was, at times, all I had. And as much as I had thought that He had abandoned me, the opposite is so very true. He never did nor has. Even when I don’t feel His presence, He is here by my side, or likened to the foot prints in the sand, He is carrying me through my darkest times. I have tried my best to follow His lead in being a good Father myself, but I know I am nowhere near perfect.

My personal opinion is based all upon my own personal experiences and that is you never, ever, abandon your child, no matter what he or she has done or not done. I don’t give a damn what your reasoning is for doing so. If you do, then shame on you, period! You really need your head examined because something just isn’t right with you. You may call it “tough love”. That’s all well and good to a certain point but once you cross that fine line and wash your hands of a child, then you need your sorry ass beat down!

Absolutely nothing will sustain a child more than the love of a parent, real heartfelt love. If a child has a tiny bit of faith in you as a parent that you love him/her, that child will eventually be just fine. If you don’t have the patience to be a parent, then you never should have had children in the first place.

Your children are precious. If you have any doubts of whether I am right in any of this, ask a parent who can never hold their child, talk to their child or simply be with their child. I can’t help but think that the loss of a child is just as devastating to a parent as a child who believes they have lost the love of a parent. Children need some kind of guidance, that’s for sure. But they also need some kind of hope that can only come from a parent.