I Begin to Heal

It's been a melancholy few days, almost indescribable. I am having difficulty keeping all of my emotion under control, or even defined at times. As I sit here, trying to collect my thoughts, I realize I have a cigarette in my hand and two more that have been lit within the last 4 minutes. What kind of disturbed soul does that shit?

I have felt sadness, more than anything the last few days, along with pain and heartache of someone not being there anymore. At night as I lie awake, all I can muster is a simple prayer, "You know." I'm not sure if I couldn't describe my wants or needs in my prayer, or I just didn't want to. What I do know is that I did let it go. As precious as time can be, it's times like the last few days that I want time to speed up just a bit, in hopes the pain and heartache will lessen, and I begin to heal.