"So Much to Keep in Mind"

It's been a long day. The interactions I have with people can be anywhere from devastating to inspiring. Everyone one has their own way of doing things, expressing their thoughts, and all I want is for folks to be who they are. I listen to their short stories. I tell a few of mine. All the while trying to stay focused on the job at hand. I am left at the end of my day with thoughts about it all. Most of the time, it leaves a huge mess on my mind and it's difficult to sort it all out in a way where I can separate my own thoughts and put them to together in a way that makes sense. Sometimes I forget that I have my own episodes to go through and categorize. 

That's one reason I find it hard to drift away to sleep when the time comes. I'm thinking of everything, reliving everything in my mind at days end. I remember the laughter, the smiles, the words, and the pain, knowing that there is not a lot I can do to help make things better while realizing somethings just can't be fixed or explained. I have to find balance between my life and others. That's already an all-day job in itself. It's exhausting! 

At the end of the day, I know it all comes down to me, my day, my tomorrow, my hopes, and my plans. I know what I want. I know what I am in need of. That hasn't changed as of yet. Will my hopes and dreams come to pass? Or even, should they? I find myself wondering if I have to abandon some of my hopes and dreams because I do have echoes bouncing around in my mind that may suggest that very thing. I dare not listen because I'm stubborn, for the most part and I don't wish to give up or give in. There can be so many factors that come into play like who, what, when, where, and most importantly, why. Is my heart pure? Is it possible? Would it be right or wrong? Who will my hopes and dreams have an effect on? So much to keep in mind!