"I Want to Run"

Some days I want to run away to a place where I can never be found until I wish to be. I want to be somewhere else other than where I am. I have done that a time or two, just venture off to a place I have never been. My thoughts escape me because they are consumed with the thoughts of you, like a an unquenchable thirst, a relentless hunger. I want to run to you, but will you allow me to?

You are filled with fear. I see that and I can't help but know in my heart why. I can't blame you. I am there as well. I understand. Most don't really understand what it really takes for a woman to give herself to a man. I now understand that. I now know why. It's just as difficult for me to give my self to a woman. Most men find it easy to look at a woman's ass and think they are reading her mind. It doesn't work that way. It never has.

I want to give you my heart. I trust you with it explicitly. I want to share my most intimate thoughts and dreams with you. I want to fill the void I see in you. It's the same void I possess. I, like you, am afraid, but possibly for different reasons. I am afraid of my own heart. The pain I have caused remains like a bullet near my spine that could never be removed, a constant reminder of my sins. But I have learned to ease the pain. It's in my nature. I'm like the chameleon in many ways. I blend in to hide my fears, the love I have and want to give, as well as my imperfections. I can't continue being that way much longer. it serves no real purpose.

Being good enough is my greatest fear. You are way out of my league. Your beauty is almost unapproachable, intimidating, in fact, but I want to take you in my arms right now and hold you in hopes of causing your fears to diminish, as well as my own. Is that possible? Through all of my years of sin I have learned how to love. I know what I want. I only want one more chance. I pray it isn't too late!