"Forgiving in Time?"

It’s summer time, 1963, and the evening is cool from the gulf breeze. A young boy is riding his older brother’s bicycle around the neighborhood when he is stopped by an older kid, a friend of my older brother. He says, “Come here. I want to show you something.” The young lad follows him to the edge of the neighborhood and he points to a drive-in movie theatre across the way and asked if the young boy wanted to get a closer look. “Sure, why not.” he replies.

Once they arrived to the outside fence, the sound was clear and the movie screen was visible, but there was something else going on. The older kid wanted something, an “unspeakable favor”. Being so young and innocent and even a little bit afraid, the young boy obliged. What had happened didn’t take long but it left questions in the young boys mind for many years. What had just happened and why? What do I say if anything to anyone? How do I live with knowing what had happened? Had I done anything wrong?

One day as a young man, the boy asked his older brother what had happened to the older kid from the neighborhood. His memory had never left. The older brother responded that he thought the older kid had died somehow. The young man replied, “Good!” That was all that was said but I am sure the older brother was wondering why the hateful response.

No word was ever mentioned about that night until the young man, now in his early twenties, decided it was time to talk about it and he decided to talk to his Mom about it. They were sitting in the yard and the young man opened his heart and told the story while his Mom listened in horror at his story. She didn’t know what to say accept that she loved him and she was glad that he had finally told her. She did remember the night because the boy was gone longer than he should have been. The only thing the young boy could remember about that night of his Mom's response, once he had returned home, is that his Mom had been worried that something had happened and that he was home and safe.

That young boy was me. I have never forgotten a second of that night. I am still not sure if this guy is alive or dead. But what remains are the memories. I remember his name, his curly blond hair, everything. My response to my brother that day towards that guy was very harsh. I had never carried a hatred for anyone ever in my life except for him. Now, presently, I still struggle with what happened but not as much because I know more now than then.

I must forgive. I must see things as they are. Yes, without question, what he did to me was very wrong. But he was also a child, too. Whether he grew up realizing that what he had done was wrong and never did it again is questionable. I hope he did. Children do things not really understanding the ramifications or the consequences of their actions, but as they get older, they learn and thank God for that. Some don’t learn though. They continue on doing things to children that are unthinkable. They change lives. They change people. All I can do is forgive him for what he did to me and God have mercy on him if he continued on with his antics.

There is no telling how many times this has happened to anyone that has never been talked about. I still hear on the news of adults finally coming forward about their past. It happens more than you think. We as parents have an obligation to talk with our children, to warn them about sexual abuse or molestation, however you wish to say it. Children must be taught to say something immediately when they have been abused and to have that happen, the most important thing you can tell your child is that they have done nothing wrong. It’s a battle versus good and evil that has been waging forever and will continue to do so. Diligence is the key. Be diligent!