"Maybe Tomorrow"

It's 2:24 am on a Tuesday morning. I am exhausted yet exhilarated for a reason I'm not sure of. I remember this past Sunday morning as I was attempting to begin the tasks of the day. Nothing seemed to be going right and I was getting very frustrated. I found myself outside in the back yard, screaming and cursing God for my life and what it had become. I'm glad I was in the country or I may have been hauled away but the point is, I was livid at God! All I kept asking is what that fuck had I done so fucking wrong that has brought me to where I am now? I couldn't make sense of anything in  my life and I haven't for a very long time. I am still lost as to what it is He wants me to do.

I think He has singled me out for some fucking reason, maybe as an example, fuck, I haven't a clue. He knows I am still not happy about things. I have always admired Job and his patience. But my God, why keep it going and going and going....Last thing I remember me saying to God was, "Give me a fucking break...please?"

I am going to try to sleep now. Maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be a turning point for the better?