"What Do I Do?"

Last night, my youngest son asked me, “What do I do?” He was in a dilemma about a relationship he had been in for quite some time. He and his significant other had split up more than I could count over the last few weeks but I didn’t poke my nose into it and ask why or anything like that. I just let them go and see what happens. What I did find out was that she had been the one who was doing all of the ‘breaking up’. His dilemma was that he had just started another relationship with someone else and this previous girl was feeling a bit jaded and wanted to have him back, again. But as their track record proved, once she had him back, she didn’t want him anymore. He also was concerned about hurting her by saying “No, it’s over!”

She wasn’t being fair with him by breaking up and getting back together with him so much and she was not being fair to herself. On the other hand, he was not being fair to her nor himself by taking her back. I asked him if his new found girl friend was aware of what was going on and he told me she was. I told him that was a good thing, and that he didn’t need to be bullshitting either of them.

What it boiled down to, my advice that is, is that you can’t allow someone else to run your life. Ultimately, it is your life and you need to take the wheel and guide yourself to where it is you want to go. Sometimes people do get hurt when that is done but it is much better to cause pain in this manner as opposed to stringing someone along because of your own indecision, therefore, prolonging their agony and your own. If some folks want to go along for the ride, then that’s a good thing, but some won’t and those that don’t need to get out of the vehicle and allow you to go. It’s only fair.