Who’s the fa…Wait! Who is that? I have been avoiding the morning mirror lately, afraid to see what I may. My evil twin, we all have one whether we wish to admit it or not, is who I am sure I will see. The dark side, the hidden side, that side that scares you more than any horror film ever could. Those times in public places, and there is a chance of seeing yourself in a reflection, you ache to look but you don’t. Sometimes, in those weak moments, we do glance into that reflection from the corner of our eye, and just long enough for that image to be burned forever into that darkest corner of our mind, ready for that future haunting that is sure to come. One morning, I will eventually look into that mirror and likened to the fog on a mirror, wipe that horrific image clean away, at least temporarily.
Those images are of your present state of mind. Very rarely do we gaze on happy eyes at first glance while thinking of those valleys we have found ourselves in. Only while we are in those valleys do we truly have clarity of how things really are. That doesn’t make any easier to deny. We all do. We all, occasionally have a look, we deny what we have seen and move on until the next time, that time when we really stop, look, and listen.
There are times in our lives when we are so fucked up and we have no idea of who we are in that moment. We waste time in searching for answers that we already have. We even love the self pity. We roll around in that mud pit wrestling with those demons we face. We procrastinate. We are constantly rewinding everything that has threatened us, wondering why..knowing why. A mental illness? Could be. I guess that would depend on how long the procrastinating lasts. I guess it could depend on how motivated you are to wipe that mirror clean, take a good hard look, make changes, and then love yourself again. Yeah! Scary, huh?
No comments:
Post a Comment