"What I See...."

What I see through the eyes of the beautiful (beauty is in the eye of the beholder) woman is heart breaking. The essence of the stories told throughout history have pretty much remained the same. I have seen some of these stories unfold before my own eyes, as well. What I invision in my minds eye is the woman, trying her best to be herself, working hard to make it in this world by her own merits and not by her own beauty. All she wants is to be recognized for who she is and what she is all about. This beautiful woman, if she hasn't found true love, she is wanting it. Sometimes she feels she has found it, only to find she hasn't and all that remains is an empty shell in which a heart used to beat for the love of her life. She realizes that most of the attention she receives is by a bunch of superficial hard dicks. The trust she used to possess is gone. All this is a life changing event for her. She has no choice but to turn to her own self for the trust she so desperately wants and needs. And men just don't seem to get it!

Some men make me sick! Their selfishness is...well, just fucking sad! I get so fucking angry when I see this happening to women. Goddammit, guys! What the fuck are you thinking? And you wonder why women are so hard to get. It's no game. They aren't playing. They have a reason for their guarded heart and state of mind. This has been going on since day one! I am truly amazed that the human race has been able to multiply at the rate it has because if I were a woman, I wouldn't have a fucking thing to do with you either!

I have to stop and be honest before I go on. I see all of this because I have been there, done that...had the t-shirt. I am not proud of that and never will be. With that being said....I won't sit here and apologize for all these assholes who think that they are God's gift to women. They don't deserve it and I wouldn't give them the sweat off my balls if they were dying of thirst. I will say I am sorry for my own actions, and I am. I truly am sorry!

I could hope that this will change for the better, but I know it won't. It's been going on too long. The wife beaters, the users, the liars and cheaters, will always be amongst us. What changed me? Finally seeing the pain I caused, the heart that has been truly broken and the spirit die was more than I could take. I became the man I found repulsive and apalling. I was deeply ashamed! Can a man change? I could say yes, but when it comes right down to it, my own answer isn't worth the paper it's written on and talk is cheap. That's an answer I must leave up to the woman. It's her heart, her life, and her spirit that's at stake, not mine. The only thing I can do is live up to my own words and go from there.